So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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