I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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