Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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