Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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