i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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