I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
