i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
