OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Randomize
