kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
