no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
