What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
