I showed him my bush... on skype.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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