grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
