So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
