To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
love makes seman taste better
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
