i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
