I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
