Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
And then he peed in my hair
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
