the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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