I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
