help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
