Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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