Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize