We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
