So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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