How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
