You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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