Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
