I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
