she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize