Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
