If i come over, it means nothing
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
