Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
