Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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