I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
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He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
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I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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