ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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