How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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