just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize