Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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