I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
