Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
