Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
