Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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