Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
