Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
MIDGETS
????
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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