Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
