What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize