She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years