i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
My vagina is very pro this idea
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place