Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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