I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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