He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
