do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
