Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
