Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
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Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
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So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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