If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I need to align my fucking chakras
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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