Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I am spending my child support on dildos
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
