didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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