i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize