didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
