were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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