; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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