Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize