Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
