He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
