Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
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I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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