I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize