I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
